by Leyla Shokoohe
Video & photography by Afrochine
What does new leadership look like? On February 10, the second gathering of the Urban Consulate Cincinnati at The Mercantile Library brought together a powerhouse trio of women — Lauren Jones, Inclusive Giving Advisor at the Greater Cincinnati Foundation, Kate Tepe, Engagement Manager for the Women’s Fund, and Consulate co-host Naimah Bilal of University of Cincinnati Foundation — to discuss stepping up, speaking up and lifting one another up.
What’s the most essential definition of leadership?
“The most essential definition is being able to really see and encourage what makes us human, each person as an individual. Because if you can’t connect, you can’t hear, you can’t listen — you can’t observe,” said Jones.
“In this time where people don’t feel like their voices are being heard, leadership is not really about the ego. It’s about shedding that and really understanding and advocating for the community.”
The communal focus of Jones’ perspective on leadership rings true in an era where we as a populace are finally starting to divest of traditional hierarchical structures. Where the idea of supporting one’s neighbor is as important as supporting oneself. “A rising tide lifts all boats.”
“At its most basic level, leadership is the ability to see a need, and step up and attempt to fill it,” said Jones.
“It’s successive — how are you reaching back to bring the next person along? Who can be a better version of you? Are you feeding into that? It's collaborative — working with your peers to see how you get there together. Working in solidarity across political affiliation, race, identity, faith. Getting there together or not at all.”
What experiences taught you that?
Behind every great student is a great teacher. Both Jones and Tepe ruminated on the experiences that led them to their perspectives, and their positions.
“For me, it was a very specific experience working in fast food for a number of years,” said Jones. “I worked as a line cook, a waitress, a line runner.” The pressure-cooker situation of a restaurant was, for her, a foundation for learning basic relational management. She segued that knowledge from customer relations to donor and constituent relations.
“I started to observe people becoming their own worst enemy,” said Tepe. “[There was] this fear that somebody was going to take from them what they had. People would bring in all these sparkly people…and they were intimidated. That fear of being left out is what really encouraged me to not operate that way,” she said.
How do we exercise leadership when we don’t find ourselves as part of a hierarchical system?
“I think it’s as simple as operating with integrity and authenticity,” said Jones. When someone operates with those tenets in mind, people around them notice, she said. They move from being a resource to being an asset.
If you were both to co-author a book about leadership for Black women, what are the top most vital to-do’s?
“I'm getting as real as I possibly can,” said Jones. “The top thing on the list for me — and this is so poignant, something I’ve been banging my head up against as of late — is to observe more and pay attention to all of the unwritten rules. As you ascend to new levels, new levels bring new devils.”
Tepe delved into ascendant leadership — the difficulties of moving up the ladder rungs to positions with even more power and attendant responsibility.
“I think sometimes it’s really important to acknowledge that leadership — good leadership, tough leadership — oftentimes is a huge emotional labor,” said Tepe.
Jones picked up that thread and hit on a poignant truth: good leaders are supposed to shoulder the burden, not share the load.
“I think that’s especially true for Black women. I think it is our responsibility to be like, ‘Sis, don’t go over there. There’s nothing good waiting for you over there.’ I wish there were more women who could reach back. I just needed that one red flag.”
How do you refresh yourself and draw inspiration to go back into the rigors of leadership?
“One way is to lean on whatever resources you might have,” said Jones. “It can be difficult to stay buoyed when you carry such great weight. But that’s what you sign up for when you take these opportunities.”
Tepe acknowledged that while that’s the case, it doesn’t exist in a binary yes/no vacuum. Successful contemporary leadership can look like resistance when in fact it encourages growth.
“Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is step away,” said Tepe. “No, I cannot… and no, I'm not going to explain this to you.” She has found that “encouraging conversation that sometimes is a little less personal can help people come up with their own discoveries.”
How do I reconceptualize my notion of leadership and resist performing maleness and whiteness? How do we resist the urge to perform those characteristics that may or may not fall within what's natural to us?
“I think the truth is you can’t reject all of them,” said Jones. “You can subscribe to some of them. If you’re already F.O.D. — first, only, different — you want to be seen, you want to be heard.”
“You have to position yourself in a power way. I pick and choose which ones work for me,” like sitting at the head of the table.
“I have a voice,” said Jones. “I'm going to speak up.”
How does one care for oneself with an 18-hour schedule? What do you do to refresh, unplug, disconnect and re-center?
“Meditation is powerful, breathing is powerful. Learning to breathe is really powerful,” said Tepe. “Knowing I have people who support me and not be in constant competition with me is so invaluable to my own growth as a person. It’s helped me be able to ask for help.” “I try to schedule as much downtime as possible,” added Jones.
Finding and maintaining healthy rhythms is essential for all city builders & changemakers — especially for leaders breaking new ground in our community.
Urban Consulate’s monthly parlor talks in Cincinnati are free & open to the public thanks to support from The Carol Ann & Ralph V. Haile, Jr./U.S. Bank Foundation.
Locals & travelers welcome.